Don’t Take the Bait
They are trying to wear you down
When my Ex said she wanted a divorce in November of 2006, she began taking the children to her parents on the days that she determined were “her days” with the children and I had them the rest of the time. Shortly after she filed for divorce on January 8, 2007, she began to try to build her case against me as an unfit parent. She would take the children to her parents for half of the week and then she would come back to the house to “monitor” me while I was with the children. She would get home from work at night at 12:30 AM and block my truck with her car then hide her keys. She went through my truck, my file cabinet, and my life while I was asleep or away from the house. My Ex told Dr. Connor and the Court that I was confrontational and I would argue with her in front of the children. She said that she was unable to talk to me about things because I would walk away. My Ex told Dr. Connor “everything is a conflict” with me. My Ex would take the children whenever she wanted as if she hoped that I would grab her and say “no.” When I tried to escape the situation and stay the weekend at my mother’s house, my Ex claimed that I let my mom watch the children while I went out. She said I never took the children to the Pediatrician and then said the only reason I rushed our 17 month old daughter to the doctor was to attempt to “show [my] interest in having and being a primary care provider for the girls.” No one cared that I was rushing my 17 month old daughter to the doctor because she was having problems breathing. What my Ex did not mention was I was the one who began administering breathing treatments to our 17 month old daughter. When I was working, she claimed she took care of everything. When I stayed home and took care of the children, I was a deadbeat husband. I took care of the girls at least half the time without incident and my Ex testified that it was by luck that they were never injured in my care. My Ex worked to portray herself as a strong emotionally abused mother who was fighting for the safety of the children. She was actually building a powder keg that would bring me down if it would have blown up. Luckily for me, I survived that storm.
Dr. Edward J Connor
After I began to present evidence that demonstrated that Dr. Connor wasn’t telling the truth, Dr. Connor began to build a case that I was a “potentially dangerous” person. In Dr. Connor’s September 10, 2008 letter to Judge Taul, Dr. Connor attacked me and even said I may suffer from “reality distortion.” This came after Dr. Connor said my allegations of his misconduct were “patently false and disturbing.” Prior to September 10, 2008 Dr. Connor never mentioned anything about me being “potentially dangerous.” Dr. Connor had not met with me since August 9, 2007 so his September 10, 2008 opinions were based on my written attempts to get the case file. Dr. Connor lied, I caught him, so Dr. Connor used his professional title to destroy my credibility. Dr. Connor tried to bait me a number of times but I never took the bait.
The “Honorable” Judge James D Humphrey
The last day of the final hearing of my divorce was on June 3, 2009. Judge James Humphrey didn’t file the Final Decree until August 18, 2009. Judge Humphrey wrote in the final decree:
“Husband shall not be entitled to visitation until he undergoes a mental health evaluation with a Mental Health Care Provider approved by the Court. The purpose of this evaluation is to determine if he is a possible danger to the children, Wife and/or to himself.”
People say “So what’s the big deal? Just go to the evaluation.” The problem was that I already underwent a psychological evaluation with a Court approved Mental Health Care Provider and Dr. Connor recommended that I care for the children on the days their mother works.
Dr. Connor is allegedly one of the "top" forensic psychologists in the Greater Cincinnati, Ohio area and has been appointed by Judge James D Humphrey on both civil and criminal cases. Judge Humphrey’s own expert made no mention in his evaluation report of me being a danger to anyone, yet Judge Humphrey wanted me to go through another evaluation at my expense. I could spend another $2000 on another evaluation, the report can say that I do not present a risk to anyone, and Judge Humphrey could disregard that evaluation as well and prohibit me from obtaining the case file from the evaluation just as he did in the case of Dr. Connor. If a second evaluation found that I did not present a risk to anyone, Judge Humphrey still would not allow me to have reasonable parenting time. Judge Humphrey stated in the final decree that even if another evaluator stated that I did not present a danger to the children, Wife and/or myself, I would still have to go through two, two hour supervised visitation sessions a week in a therapeutic setting to determine if I was fit for unsupervised visitation.
I could have two evaluations that state that I do not present a danger to anyone, and despite the fact there is no evidence or testimony indicating that I have ever presented an emotional or physical danger to anyone, Judge Humphrey still would not allow me to go back to be the parent I was prior to when Judge Humphrey arbitrarily deemed me to be a dangerous father. Judge Humphrey even says “If ordered” as if there is a possibility that it could be determined that I do not pose threat to anyone and Judge Humphrey still would not allow me to have “supervised visitation in a therapeutic setting for four hours a week.” Why did Judge James D Humphrey do what he did? He hated me and tried to bait me into to doing something bad.
DO NOT give them the ability to say they were right about you
Why do these people keep coming at me? Because if they can’t force me to blow up, they look bad for saying that I was “potentially dangerous.” The danger in this strategy is the emotional damage it inflicts on the children who are used as pawns. The other danger is you are pushing someone to the limits of human emotionality. Imagine what you would do if someone took your children from you because they said you were dangerous. Then imagine what would happen if your ex-spouse wouldn’t let you talk to your children on the phone. Think about the worry and pain associated not knowing if your children are alright. What makes the situation even worse is there is no physical restraining order that prevents me from seeing the children; just a vague order that says I cannot exercise parenting time. I could go to their church or school events and see the girls in public, but what do you say to your 4 and 6 year old daughters who don’t know why they can’t see their daddy anymore? Mommy lied and took you away from daddy? A corrupt psychologist and evil judge punished daddy for asking why the psychologist lied? Then they can go home with the woman who masterminded the whole debacle and get an earful of more BS. This is my world. Put yourself in my position. There is no guarantee that my little girls will still love me when I get to see them again. For all they know, daddy ran out on them. You start to understand how a parent can just disappear from their children’s lives. I could see how some people could just give up. I can see, not justify, how someone could snap and do something horrible. Any of the above would be fine for my Ex, Dr. Connor, and Judge Humphrey. They want the ability to say that they were right because I’m irresponsible and/or dangerous. Not only will I never give them the pleasure, I am doing the one thing they fear the most; I’m sharing my story with others. The only way to stop this from happening to other children and families is to tell the story. People like Dr. Edward J Connor and Judge James D Humphrey use children and their authority to scare people into submission. My job is to set an example to my little girls by standing up for what is right.